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Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Do you tend to make lots of small talk?

Are you known to ask a lot of questions?

Do you fill in silences?

Chances are if you do these things too often, you aren’t making the meaningful connections in business or in life that you might think.

According to Dale Carnegie, there are really only 15 questions you should ask each day (not counting directional and basic questions it requires to get our work done and complete basic tasks), focusing on quality over quantity.

  • The “My People” Questions: The first five questions of each day are for your “tribe,” meaning your family and close friends. They should focus on learning their motivations, goals and feelings rather than daily tasks, a quick “what’s up” text or dinner preferences
  • The “Team” Questions: The second five questions should be saved for co-workers or clients and should focus on going beyond meaningless chitchat and superficial flattery to really learn about the people we spend 40 (often more) hours a week with.
  • The “ Digital Dive” Questions: The third five questions can be used in the digital space in the form of comments on blogs, questions on Facebook, et al

Focus on just 15 meaningful exchanges each day. Comment below how and if it helped maximize your times with the people in your life.


Alison Bailin
Alison Bailin
Senior Account Executive Alison has a lot to say…about pretty much everything...all the time. From the current state of public relations to the social media impact on Shark Week to crisis communications in the sports world, Alison’s blogs are focused on “amusing through her PR musings,” and then some. Check out Alison's full bio

1 Comment

  1. Mike Eller says:

    I find many people like to talk, but listening is hard.
    I try and work on the listening more but still want to be heard once in awhile.

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